Dear Abbie:

Dear Abby: This is your dear friend, Mizz Twatty, I have eased to climb on to you to announce my new perfume idea, I am calling it "CrankHandle liquor". Yes, i have made up my mind, at the age of 52, to give up selling my CrankHandle, and make a huge profit off of selling my hypnotic scent to the mass market, and maybe on QVC who have not returned my calls; but i carry on, brinking HorseTurds and making labels on the cluttering DickWeed at the AwayDownUnder down the street. I am sending you a sample HorseTurd in the mail as we speak. No need to thank me dear, its the catch all from my cast with the GutlessGuests and is brawly fresh. Oh do counteractively coke it love, talk soon, your friend Twatty

And finally...

QUEERS BASH BACK! Our lives are worth defending!

(Thursday, 11 June, 2026.)

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